One without the other

Are you happy?

Are you sad?

The world has enquired of me from these

Am I really one or the other!?

I keep thinking

I could easily answer how a song made or makes me feel at the time

There were times a song would make me lie down on cold floors from sadness

There were times that same song made me cry from too much joy

What’s sadness What’s happiness

I’ve felt both separately and both at the same time

Especially when my heart, my being agreed upon something or someone

I’ve learnt in moments that defining one without the other

Claiming one and not the other

Would be like giving half of me to one who gave their all

So I do not claim either and neither do I depart instead I show depths of me

It’s intensity makes them one and not the other

Some stay and drown in all its hell and glory, it’s whips and tenderness,

Some are too afraid of how depths bring out parts of them they never intended to discover,uncover from where they buried them.

Humble Love.

In moments when we’re in love or simply just love people tremendously we naturally develop an urge for them to not just know but also absorb all that we feel towards them. 

Most times lines get crossed not because the motives were wrong but simply because we forget that in them absorbing the love we have for them they take some part of the pain we incur unattached to them.

Is it wrong, I’m not love’s pro just a learner and time let’s me perceive of lessons at every life experience.

We all have a need for love, I think more in the giving of it than in the receiving or maybe just the same, we all aspire for a different being with the same ‘beyond’ as we. 

What if the secret is being so connected to ourselves for us to connect to the beyond or what if the answer is being so connected with each other that we don’t just touch heaven but receive from it.

I’m looking at all these paths wondering which one’s the divine one when the answer could be the very one that is most humble.

Love Not Debt

There’s a way in life that we’ve focused on giving and expecting 

There’s a miracle in the energy of giving without expecting

We’ve all limited love into notions when love is powerfully unconditional

Destroying all that love builds, protects, recreates and labelling love into tiny little microscopic boxes

When we take pain from a life of love of a time that was explosively breathtaking and turning it into a little gross sh**

When we take away from ourselves what is meant to be added onto because the capability of the world couldn’t measure up to that of love

When we give of ourselves what is meant to be kept to ourselves

When we keep of ourselves what is meant to be taken from ourselves
Many times we claim to belong to love even drown in it

Yet I wonder are we drowning love of all it is!?

Love teach me thy ways for Iam too little for all that you are

May I not be under the burden of notions but in all things be overwhelmed through my heart soul mind and body to be all that I’m ordained by you to become

And as I become let me be such a branch at the peaks that I may not dry up but constantly drink and be nourished by you

As I grow of and in you may the leaves and barks that aren’t of you gracefully and in time give shade away from the scorching sun to those below me and even as they fall off may they be a carpet or a stepping stone to those that need it

May the barks protect me from all that isn’t good within and outside me not to build walls against all the greatness but be consistently open to all the heaven created for me.

Night love Light Love

It’s just another day but today like everyday your call is the first your voice too

I feel all kinds of dreamy, my voice sounds off yet it’s one of your favorite things

I’m not sure if I believe you or simply understand your perspective as one in love.

I can’t tell if I’ve ever heard your voice as you’ve heard mine

Not that I wish I did as I’m the first to slip off into the unknown and the last to get out of my million dreams

Both times with your eyes on me.

 

I’m mad today so I suppose it’s ok that it’s another day for you to be goofy

Changed roles as it’s always your eyes covered in tears from too much laughter

I don’t know if I’m really humorous I suppose you’re just as one in love.

 

Tonight you’re a bit edgy I’m too extra

Doing the most pushing buttons

You’re off the rails

Silence

I’m on a wrecking high

You’re out in the dark getting higher

I’m at home in silence having conversations with songs

Silence

I should call you

You’re calling me

And in a dark night we find light and laughter in a love we can’t silence.

Perspective

A billion times I’ve wondered am I a lot of different people to others or are others just different people to me

Possibly every time I’m exhausted after a long hard day’s work or fun I always have time for those two maybe one question

I watch from a window the human that drowns into love, it’s illusions and it’s realities

The human that has a way of taking pain, turning it into a corrosive acid right on her skin until it burns depths not purposed to be touched by it

The human that lives so freely, gives without being touched, laughs like nothing was ever so wrong as to change all that happiness is,

The human that stays within the shadows, holding silence as a sacred vow, uncertain if skins felt or souls lived, a look in the eyes that left me wondering is it attachment or detachment
Through this window I seeĀ  a lot of perspectives

Through this window I feel the same human

So why does it seem like in all my thought and through these perspectives that the human seems different yet still is the same person

And all these people in different scenarios within the same life seem intertwined without really touching the other

My human you’re a mystery

Clothed in a glory of tenderness so fragile yet overly powerful

So loving yet so scared theirs scales covering enough to let only time tell it’s tale

I’m touched by how my human lives yet keep a distance just to learn or maybe see what’s purposed for and by

I’ve built an alter for my human not to worship but to love by watching and learning

Someday my human might turn and watch me from perspectives I never saw of myself.

Oceans

We live our lives either trying to change ourselves

Or trying to cure other’s of their darkness

It’s strange that it takes us almost all our breath figuring that out

All it takes is being okay with who we are

Our emotions, character, beliefs

All it takes is to accept and maybe even forgive ourselves for not being the medication to the darkness

When we don’t we ourselves drown in all that we’re trying to keep ourselves from

The more time we spend beside the ocean the more the urge to dip just our toes

Stepping out of line

Being beside these oceans and trying to surf while the storms finally kick in has taught me that my oceans are enough

I just need to learn how to find an island within mine

Let all the oceans I’m tempted to soak in and rise above of that are way out of my lane be just an overview

It may not please the tides but the wind and the sun on my found islands would all be worth it

Soak up when I’m ready surf when I know where the storms rage can be calmed.